How Can I Tell If I’m Ready for EMDR Therapy? 5 Signs
You may be ready for EMDR reprocessing when your symptoms are still present but stable, you’ve developed a sense of trust with your therapist and have shared some of your history, and you have coping skills you can turn to when things get tough. When you’re ready for EMDR reprocessing, you’ll still feel an emotional reaction to the memory, even if you’ve developed some insight or understanding around it, and you’ll feel a sense of readiness to approach the memory in a different way.
When someone comes to me asking for EMDR therapy, they usually have a general idea of what they are asking for, and that general idea is usually focused on the reprocessing phases of EMDR—phases 3 through 8 of EMDR’s 8-phase model. Often overlooked are phases 1 and 2. These early phases are essential to the EMDR clinician’s understanding of the client’s unique needs, experiences, and goals, as well as to ensuring that a client has skills, self-awareness, and presence to begin EMDR reprocessing.
Here are five signs that you may be ready to move from stabilization into active trauma processing.
1. Your symptoms are stable.
You aren’t seeking EMDR because your symptoms have totally resolved. You likely have some symptoms of anxiety, depression, PTSD, or maybe a combination of all three. However, before we begin EMDR reprocessing, it’s important that you are able to regulate your emotions both inside and outside of sessions, and have coping skills and strategies to turn to when things get rough. It’s also important to address any serious symptoms such as severe depression, significant dissociation, suicidal ideation, or thoughts of self-harm prior to engaging in EMDR reprocessing.
2. You’ve shared your history and developed a rapport with your therapist.
Before helping you to reprocess your past, your therapist needs to know what you’ve been through, and have some understanding of how it’s affected you. You also need to feel comfortable with your therapist, and to feel some sense of trust in the therapy relationship. Before any reprocessing begins, your therapist should take a thorough history, including information about your family of origin, development, and social history, including any traumatic events or difficult experiences. Your therapist will help you make connections between experiences in your past, and the symptoms and patterns that show up for you in the present.
3. You have coping skills you can turn to, and they work for you.
In order to safely engage in trauma processing, you need to first have the ability to regulate your nervous system. This may mean that you have a meditation or yoga practice, that you have some go-to skills for when you start to feel overwhelmed, or that you have the awareness to step away from a triggering situation and take some deep breaths when you notice yourself becoming dysregulated. If this doesn’t sound like you, no worries; we’ll get there together.
Are you ready to learn a new coping skill today? Check out the spiral technique and 5-4-3-2-1 grounding.
4. You're tired of managing and ready to move through.
Sometimes the clearest sign is simply the feeling: I don't want to cope with this anymore. I want it to change. The shift from "how do I survive this" to "how do I heal from this" is significant. It often means you've built enough stability that your system is ready to take the next step.
5. The story you tell about your past still carries a charge.
In EMDR, we talk about the difference between a memory that feels resolved and one that still feels unresolved. If you can tell your story, but it still lands in your body as tight, distant, numb, or overwhelming, the memory hasn't been processed, even if you’ve shared it, talked about it, and have some insight that you didn’t have before.
Frequently Asked Questions:
What’s the difference between EMDR and regular talk therapy for trauma?
Talk therapy asks you to share details of your experiences in hopes of understanding and making meaning of what happened. EMDR works below the level of conscious thought, by targeting the way traumatic memories are stored in the nervous system, not just how you think about them. When a traumatic memory is fully processed through EMDR, it loses its emotional charge. You still remember what happened, but it no longer hijacks your nervous system the way it used to. For many people who have spent years in talk therapy without the relief they were hoping for, EMDR reaches the layer that talk therapy alone couldn't touch. More information about EMDR therapy can be found here.
Do I need a lot of coping skills before starting EMDR?
No. While it helps to have some go-to skills, everyone starts at a different place. If you don’t have coping skills that work for you, we’ll build them together. In fact, some coping skills may be simpler than you think. Stepping away from a triggering situation, taking deep breaths, splashing cold water on your face when you feel overwhelmed, and reaching out to a trusted support person when you’re upset are all forms of coping skills.
What If I’m unsure if I’m ready?
That’s common, and you don’t have to figure it out by yourself. Regardless of your unique starting point, your therapist will spend several sessions assessing your readiness, teaching new coping skills specific to EMDR, and gathering a detailed history. Then, together with your therapist, you’ll decide when you are ready to begin the reprocessing phases of EMDR.
Where Can I Learn More?
I offer free consultation calls to anyone who might be interested in working with me. I’d be happy to talk with you one on one about EMDR, what it’s like to work with me, and whether EMDR therapy with me might be right for you. Reach out here to schedule a consultation call.
A Final Note on EMDR Readiness
EMDR is an 8-Phase model of therapy, with the “reprocessing” part—what most people think of when they say refer to EMDR—comprising Phases 3-8. Feeling like you aren’t ready for EMDR probably just means you aren’t ready for the reprocessing phases—or at least, not yet. If you are interested in EMDR, but don’t feel quite ready, the best way to get there is by starting work with an EMDR therapist.
Susan Candiloro, LCSW-R, is an EMDRIA Certified Therapist and EMDRIA Approved Consultant in Albany, NY. With over 25 years of experience in the mental health field, Susan specializes in working with women navigating shame, anxiety, perfectionism, and late-diagnosed ADHD, early trauma and emotional neglect. Susan offers virtual EMDR therapy across New York and Florida. Interested in working with Susan? Reach out here.