How does EMDR therapy help with ADHD?

EMDR therapy helps with ADHD by targeting the shame, negative self-beliefs, and painful memories that accumulate from years of struggling, being misunderstood, and falling short of expectations — not the neurological symptoms of ADHD itself. EMDR works at the memory level, reprocessing the specific experiences that locked beliefs like 'I'm lazy' or 'I'm broken' in place. As an EMDRIA Certified Therapist offering virtual ADHD therapy in New York and Florida, I specialize in trauma-informed EMDR for women with ADHD.

I've tried therapy before and it didn't help. Why would EMDR be different?

EMDR therapy works differently from traditional talk therapy. Most talk-based approaches work with what you know about yourself. EMDR works with what your nervous system remembers, processing the memories that keep negative beliefs in place — which is why it often helps people with ADHD who haven't found relief in talk therapy alone.

What is rejection sensitive dysphoria, and can EMDR help?

Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is the intense emotional pain many people with ADHD experience in response to perceived criticism or failure. Because RSD is rooted in accumulated experiences of rejection and shame, it responds well to EMDR's trauma-informed, memory-based reprocessing approach.

How is ADHD therapy different from ADHD coaching?

ADHD coaching is skills-focused — helping you build systems and manage time. Trauma-informed ADHD therapy goes deeper, addressing the shame, self-doubt, and emotional weight that gets in the way of using those skills. They are complementary, not competing approaches.

I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. Is therapy different for late-diagnosed women?

Therapy for late-diagnosed women with ADHD honors the grief that comes with adult diagnosis — the relief, anger, and retroactive pain about years of masking and not knowing. As a trauma-informed EMDR therapist working virtually with women in New York and Florida, I specialize in helping late-diagnosed women process that grief and rebuild their relationship with themselves.

Do I need an official ADHD diagnosis to work with you?

No. Many women I work with come in without a formal ADHD diagnosis but with a lifetime of experiences that resonate: chronic self-doubt, the exhaustion of masking, shame that's accumulated over years of struggling. Virtual EMDR therapy may be a valuable next step regardless of whether you have a diagnosis.

Will you help me understand why I feel so broken?

Yes. That feeling makes sense given what you've lived through — not because you are broken, but because you spent years being measured against a standard never built for your brain. Trauma-informed EMDR therapy and IFS work together to help you update the story your nervous system has been carrying.

What does an EMDR therapy session look like for someone with ADHD?

EMDR therapy sessions for women with ADHD are paced to your nervous system — not a standardized script. Many women worry they won't be able to focus long enough, or that their mind wandering will get in the way. In practice, the flexible, non-linear nature of EMDR often works with an ADHD brain rather than against it. Sessions typically begin with time to settle and orient before moving into reprocessing work. As a virtual EMDR therapist working with women in New York and Florida, I use bilateral stimulation delivered through audio or tactile tools that translate seamlessly to an online setting. Some sessions go deep into memory reprocessing; others focus on resourcing and stabilization. There is no right way for a session to unfold, and there is no way to do it wrong.

ADHD Therapy for Women Online in New York & Florida

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A tabletop with an ADHD timer, sensory fidgets, and a book about organizing life with ADHD, on a therapist's desk

Does this sound like you?

Are you struggling to manage all of the demands of being a working mom, running a household, and finding time for yourself all at the same time?
Do you struggle to finish things, often jumping from one task to another? You are busy, busy, busy…but feel like you don’t accomplish anything?
You show emotions quickly, feel them deeply, and struggle to return to baseline afterwards?
You interrupt conversations because you relate to what the other person is saying?
You replay every social interaction, often wondering if others are mad at you?
You feel angry at your partner, overwhelmed by your responsibilities, but unable to verbalize this in a constructive way?

You often feel like you have two speeds-”On” and “sunken into the couch?”
You find yourself so engrossed in a task (or in scrolling social media) that all of a sudden, 2 hours have passed, you’ve missed lunch, and are late for wherever you need to be?

These aren't signs you're broken.

These are symptoms of living in a system that was not made for us.

“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.”

-Maya Angelou

As a woman diagnosed with ADHD in my 40’s, and as a parent raising two teens with ADHD, I bring both professional expertise and lived experience to my work. I understand the nuances and struggles of ADHD from multiple angles—as a therapist, as a mom, and as someone navigating ADHD personally—and I use that perspective to offer thoughtful, practical guidance and support.

ADHD Therapy and Support for Women

In my work with women with ADHD, I start by blending a variety of therapeutic approaches (like CBT, Behavioral Activation, DBT, and Mindfulness) to help you improve your executive functioning (such as remembering appointments, starting and finishing tasks, and getting places on time), your emotional regulation, and make sense of your unique brain so that you can thrive in the way you were meant to thrive.

Then, once you’ve noticed some positive changes in your executive function and emotional regulation, we’ll move beyond skills, to address the underlying beliefs (like shame, guilt, not feeling good enough) that are keeping you stuck in old patterns.

“ADHD is like having a ferrari brain with bicycle brakes. Strengthen the brakes and you have a champion.”

-Ned Hallowell

Together, we’ll:

Woman looking over a peaceful lake in a moment of reflection and stillness.

Get To Know Your Brain: We’ll dig into what neurodivergence and ADHD look like in real life, using your daily wins and struggles as our guide

Support For Symptoms: Together, we’ll try out realistic tools for focus, organization, and time management
Validate and Empower Your Whole Self: Sessions welcome every facet of your identity: everything that matters to you and makes you distinctly who you are
Recover from Burnout and Shame: Let’s process the old stories about “being too much”or “not enough” in a world built for neurotypical folks. We’ll make room for self-compassion and a gentler way forward, but most importantly, we'll emphasize the strengths that your neurodivergence brings to your life
Women with ADHD are more likely to have experienced a traumatic event in childhood, and are more likely to have internalized beliefs of shame, doubt, and being “not good enough.” Once we have identified some strategies to help you manage the day-to-day challenges that come with ADHD, you may choose to pivot and focus on healing those wounds with EMDR and IFS.

Frequently Asked Questions

ADHD coaching is a practical, skills-focused support. It includes helping you build systems, manage time, and develop strategies for the day-to-day challenges of ADHD. It's valuable, and for many people it's a useful tool. This may be where we start together, or may be something you already have experience with. Either way, we’ll go beyond ADHD coaching.
Therapy for ADHD goes deeper. Where coaching works with what you do, therapy works with what you carry. For women who've spent years masking, overachieving, or quietly falling apart, the obstacle often isn't knowing what to do, it's the shame, the self-doubt, and the emotional weight that gets in the way of doing it.
If you've tried coaching and found that it was helpful, but something kept getting in the way, that's often a sign there's deeper emotional material ready to be addressed.
EMDR therapy doesn’t replace coaching, but it works at a level coaching wasn't designed to reach.
EMDR doesn't treat the symptoms ADHD itself, but it's remarkably effective for what often travels with it. Years of struggling, falling short of expectations, and being misunderstood leave a mark. EMDR works at the memory level, targeting the specific experiences that shaped beliefs like I'm lazy, I'm broken, I just don't try hard enough. When those memories are reprocessed, the charge behind them changes, and so does the way you move through your life.
Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is the intense emotional pain many people with ADHD experience in response to perceived criticism, disappointment, or failure. It's one of the most debilitating and least-addressed aspects of ADHD. Because RSD is rooted in accumulated experiences of rejection and shame, it responds well to EMDR's trauma-informed, memory-based reprocessing approach. Virtual EMDR therapy can help reduce the intensity of RSD over time by addressing the underlying experiences that made rejection feel so devastating in the first place.
EMDR therapy works differently from traditional talk therapy, which is why it often helps people who haven't found relief elsewhere. Most talk-based approaches work with what you know about yourself. EMDR works with what your nervous system remembers. For many women with ADHD, especially those diagnosed later in life, the obstacle isn't insight. You already know you're not lazy. EMDR helps your brain actually believe it, by processing the memories that keep that belief in place.

Therapy for late-diagnosed women with ADHD honors the unique grief that comes with adult diagnosis. There's often a sense of relief, alongside anger, loss, and retroactive pain about years spent masking, overcompensating, or feeling fundamentally defective. As a trauma-informed EMDR therapist working virtually with women in New York and Florida, I specialize in helping late-diagnosed women process that grief and build a relationship with themselves that isn't defined by all those years of not knowing.
No, an official ADHD diagnosis is not required to begin therapy. Many clients I work with come in without a formal diagnosis but with a lifetime of experiences that resonate: chronic self-doubt, the exhaustion of masking, shame that's accumulated over years of struggling. If that describes you, virtual EMDR therapy may be a valuable next step, regardless of whether you have a diagnosis in hand.
EMDR therapy sessions for women with ADHD are paced to your nervous system rather than a standardized script. Many women worry they won't be able to focus long enough, or that their mind wandering will get in the way. In practice, the flexible, non-linear nature of EMDR often works with an ADHD brain rather than against it. Sessions typically begin with time to settle and orient before moving into the reprocessing work itself. As a virtual EMDR therapist working with women in New York and Florida, I use bilateral stimulation delivered through audio or tactile tools that translate seamlessly to an online setting. Some sessions go deep into memory reprocessing. Others focus on resourcing and stabilization, or building the internal foundation that makes deeper work possible. There is no right way for a session to unfold, and there is no way to do it wrong.